Friday, 30 December 2011

A Very Hoardy Xmas

Well it was and it wasn’t.
Tensions usually arise in November for planning the Dragon Family festive celebrations.  Major Dragon hates leaving the Hoard house.  She treasures hopes that after a couple of days effort, Christmas can be had here.  The rest of the Dragons remember the previous years that involved either 3 months hard labour for me in a desperate effort to find the dining room or all Dragon visitors prepared to do a couple of hours panicky clean up while Major Dragon fetches Elderly Dragon.  A particular highlight was the year when MD had actually sorted ten binbags of clothes for charity.  I spent more than six months jumping over them in the hall as she found more and more reasons not to take them to the charity shop.  Finally on Christmas day, all the dragons lifted and threw them in the garage so we could all get freely in and out of the door. Five years or so later they are still there and the leaking garage probably has destined them for landfill sadly. 
After that Reformed Dragon began the campaign to just have Christmas at her house since it had been cleaned up. Took two years to achieve it by dint of much arguing but the last 3  or 4 have been held there.  We know it will be, MD knows it it will be but she still likes to dig her heels in and argue against making a decision till we are in the December Dash (feels like more of a 100m sprint by then) and RD swears hugely about getting the food in in time and everything that is needed for a family of mostly picky eaters.  And MD panics about driving over, what if it snows, rains, fogs? This year we added to the drama by instead of buying physical gifts for MD and ED (one to save the Hoard and second to save money since ED covets things, never uses them and will give them back to you about a week later) we booked a hotel room for them just down the road from RD. No driving home and MD would get the chance to sleep on a bed that isn’t half covered in boxes (she sleeps on about a third of it) and ED loves hotels and most importantly hotel breakfasts. She is getting to the age of not bothering to eat due to the effort it takes. MD panicked about getting lost, what if they didn’t let them in after ten, what if there was no staff over Christmas.  She panicked so much about that, that come Christmas Eve at 10pm she still wasn’t actually prepared for Christmas. No clean clothes (hadn’t handed them over for washing despite reminders all week) and she had lost everyone’s Christmas gifts.  Not that this is any surprise.  In general if there is somewhere we have to be the following day, party, family gathering, holiday, I resign myself to no sleep that night whatsoever. By the time I have aided MD and sorted myself out I usually get a couple of hours nap in the morning if I am lucky. I am so used to catching up on sleep on a journey the sound of train noise on one of those ambient sound apps knocks me out in about ten minutes.
But fear not Readers! Tiny Tim The Harassed Dragons had their Christmas. With gifts. And the dinner was only slightly cold and dried out after Major Dragon went on a small hotel hunting tour with Elderly Dragon.  Still, they were only an hour and half late.  Which is pretty good going.  I could tell you hair curling stories about the 8 hours for a 1 hour journey the last time I let them wander off by themselves. This grey hair is not due to age.
So what did we achieve in the Hoard since this post was mostly taken up with the Digging for Freedom we generally do to escape it temporarily?
Oh yes. And hopefully the first of many. I stride towards the new year, binbags in hand and a burning light in my eyes.  But the Saga of the Rubbish Uplift is a Homeric Hymn for another day as this post is quite long enough.
Our New Year Resolution is to have next Christmas back at the Hoard. (I promised this if MD agreed to Christmas at RD’s this year)
I hope that 2012 brings you everything you need and the appropriate storage place to put it.
I hope it brings me that too.

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