Saturday, 18 August 2012

Put The Flags Out

For I have returned!  From somewhere.
Well you see there was this parrot…and it…with the…and…with the …dog…but…fell…and then he ATE the…danced…then Kate said…lost her tiara and then…GOOOOOOOOLD!
But I promised I wouldn’t tell.
It has been the summer of highs and lows. And that was just the weather here on our little party island. There have been quite a few instances of just shutting the door on the Secret Dragon Hoard and getting out and enjoying the UK before 2012 is over. We have no wealth to speak of but our Diamond Queen and a hefty whack of gold, silver and bronze.  The Jubilympics have been pretty good really.  My cynicism vanished somewhere down a goatpath  in the Hoard and I haven’t been all that keen to dig and recover it. It is probably sitting, irritably chewing on dustbunnies, waiting for me to fetch it from the depths.
So in a round up of the last 3 months here at the Secret Dragon Hoard, let us take a look at the scoreboard! Points win me empty spaces! 
Secret Dragon vs The Hoard
Hoard is still a landfill with doors and a roof, I have not managed to wish it away in my sleep, alas. (despite some serious mental effort.)
Secret Dragon 0 Hoard 1
The knives are still sleeping. (I am actually scared to touch them in case they get cross again.)
Secret Dragon 0 Hoard 2
One operational tv still.  Which is in Major Dragon’s bedroom.  It struggles bravely on but when it hiccups from overwork, the roars can be heard across the land.  But I am refusing to give in and sort out the dead ones downstairs till Major Dragon removes the box fortress she has created around them.  I think this might be tv war.  All I know is that all the smaller tv’s have somehow flocked together in MD’s lair including the one I technically own and I had managed to previously keep out of her clutches. Curses!
Secret Dragon 1 Hoard (including MD) 3
MD managed to sneak away my tv while I was away visiting friends (it was amazing! There were carpets! I miss carpets. And skirting boards.)  I think it might have been a shot back at me after I, with the aid of Reformed Dragon and her long suffering boyfriend (I feel certain the mere mention of Avon would trigger some serious flashbacks for him,) spirited the computer table out the house when MD was out at work. She HAD agreed to it leaving, if you remember, in the last post.  But naturally whenever I attempted it, had a myriad of utterly crucial reasons why she still needed to keep it. Up to and including want to use it as a dressing table, work bench and paperwork area. Considering I am currently squeezed on the less than 1ft x 1ft space on the couch not inhabited by boxes of papers, with my laptop resting on them, you can picture just how well the last suggestion went. 
Sod it, even with the tv loss I am totally taking the point for this one.
Secret Dragon 2 Hoard 3
Deep clean of the littlest room. Bathroom attacked with Barkeepers Friend.  And bleach.
Mysterious stains in bath finally removed (they have driven me bats for YEARS and nothing would shift them.)
Toilet seat accidentally wrecked with a slightly over generous hand with the bleach. Oops.  So I added some stains back in the bathroom after I took the others away. 
Might have to call that one a draw.
Secret Dragon 3 Hoard 4
You may have temporarily bested me Hoard but I have plans and a to do list and I am not afraid to use them with a stern face and squooshy antibacterial spray. *determined face*
Before I stride off into the sunset, dragging a rubbish bag and cloths like a raggedy cleaning peacock, I shall share a non table moment from Major Dragon this summer. She turned to me with a baffled expression, “I know I bought all this stuff” *arm wave at 3 irons, two steamers, kettle and hand blender all still in boxes in front of her chair* “I don’t remember doing it but I have seen the credit card statements.  My brain must have hiccupped or something” 
Since then I don’t think she has bought an electrical item.
Major Dragon 1 Hoard 0